I cringe when I think about how many times when I was younger I let a man make me do something I really didn't want to. Yes, I know, no one can make me do anything. But in my twenties, I just didn't have the confidence or the gumption or maybe the self-respect to say, "No, that's not happening." I assumed that, these years later, since I like and trust myself more now, I would easily be able to stand up for myself. More so, I would have bet the farm that I would stand up for my daughters. And yesterday I didn't.
I am not an anti-vaccine zealot, nor do I believe it causes autism. My (almost) nine- and (just now) eleven-year old girls have been vaccinated up the wazoo (actually, just in the upper arms). Yesterday, at my older daughter's checkup, the pediatrician told her she'd be getting four shots: the H1N1 (at my request), the tetanus booster, the bacterial meningococcal booster, and the first of three doses of Gardasil. Gardasil, of course, protects against HPV and cervical cancer. Having dealt with HPV myself, I certainly would love to eliminate that risk for my kids. But I've spoken with a lot of friends about Gardasil (which I admit doesn't exactly count as research), and I have several reservations. My first concern is long-term effects. I don't want to be like those mothers who took DES during their pregnancy and consigned their daughters to adult cancers because the longitudinal research wasn't in. Further, a friend whose daughter has some neurological issues said that her neurologist said "absolutely not" to Gardasil, because of seizure and migraine possibilities. I had pretty much decided to wait on the Gardasil vaccine until my daughters were older, giving the research time to progress. Since my one girl is just eleven (and still very child-like), I'm certain she has some time before she'd really need it.
When I told their pediatrician that I had some concerns about Gardasil he said, "I have a concern about Gardasil, too. I'm concerned about parents who are concerned about it." He then told me that it's been successfully used in Europe for twenty years and that plenty of research backs it up. He added that his daughters had been vaccinated. Then he gave me a look that said, "Gotta problem with that?" And I gave in.
I haven't told anyone about the Gardasil, because I'm so ashamed that I didn't say no. I had made a decision that I thought to be in her best interest, and I allowed myself to be bullied out of it. Now, since she's had the first of three doses, I figure that I have to proceed. If I've hurt her, at least she should have the immunological protection. Almost as much as I worry about her future health, I worry about her having a mother who can't (or won't) stand up for her.
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While I can understand your self-doubt I don't think you failed to protect your daughter. Your doctor is the first qualified person to offer an opinion to you on the vaccine and so you listened to him. There is a lot of hype surrounding Gardasil and he is best positioned to help you to make a decision. If you had been very strongly opposed to the vaccine I doubt you would have gone through with it. The neurologist who didn't recommend the vaccine, and rightly so, did so when considering its potential effects on someone who is already predisposed to neurological conditions and contraindicated. Your daughters do not have the same risk as healthy children with no neurological disorders. I've had all three shots and so have all of my friends with no side-effects but I don't think this type of anectodal evidence should be what you base decisions on. Look at the science and the numbers. All vaccines and all drugs, even Tylenol, claim the lives of an extremely small percentage of individuals every year mostly as a result of severe allergic reactions to drug properties. Millions of girls and young women have been vaccinated with Gardasil and have been unharmed. A vast minority of severe adverse reactions have been reported. While tragic, they account for a very negligible amount of the population's response. Unfortunately, the media and bloggers alike are more akin to writing about the tragedies associated with the vaccine. Tragedy is scary, fascinating and newsworthy and permeates our thoughts; however, its important to remember that these tragedies are extremely unlikely to occur. The benefits in this instance seem to greatly outweigh the risks, in my opinion. Try and remember that before beating yourself up about it!
ReplyDeleteHi, Firstly I want to say how refreshing it is to hear such open honesty on your part, good on you. I'm writing from New Zealand where I looked into Gardasil as we have a daughter. This lead me to Dr Diane Harper who headed the clinical trials for Gardasil. In a Radio New Zealand interview with our Ministry of Health head, she asked that our country not proceed with the vaccination programme in our schools, as she has very real concerns regarding Gardasil. Dr Harper is one of the few people who have "credible" advice about Gardasil. Unfortunately our Government chose to ignore her warning. Your Doctor telling you this vaccine has been used for 20 years, would appear to be giving you incorrect information, from all the research material I've uncovered. I have set up a web site www.offtheradar.co.nz for other parents and girls to access information that our health officials aren't telling us. So please check it out if you wish.
ReplyDeleteKind Regards
Julie Smith
Timaru
New Zealand
I never liked the practice of giving 3 or 4
ReplyDeleteshots during one visit.
So, at first my worries are put to rest and I feel like I did the right thing. Then, Julie revives all my fears! (Because I'm an ostrich, I can't get my nerve up to look at her website; I always hide from things that scare me). And while I can see how multiple shots in a visit could be worrisome, I'm awful because - just schedule-wise - multiple shots sure make things easier. I liked it better when my head was patted and I was told all would be fine. Being a grownup sometimes really stinks.
ReplyDelete